I do not like to be late. I tend to believe punctuality is next to godliness…unless it involves me showing up late to Jiu-Jitsu, in which case I fully support missing warmups.
I plan ahead. I think in contingencies. I want to know every possible scenario before it happens. I’m wired for information, analysis, and research. I check accounts more than I should. I memorize maps for fun. And the worst thing you can say to me in a decision-making moment is, “I don’t care, what do you think?” That’s like handing keys to someone who already struggles with control.
My name is Carlo, and I am a recovering control freak.
The struggle is real.
If I’m honest, that tendency is not just about being organized or prepared. It is about not wanting to feel powerless. I’d like to say it comes from care, but more often than not, it comes from a quiet fear of things being out of my hands.
Airports have a way of exposing all of that.
You can plan everything right. Build in margin (I always get to the airport early). Choose your seats (aisle please). Track your flights. And then one delay hits, and the entire system unravels. Now you’re standing at a gate, watching the clock, realizing there is nothing you can do to fix it.
That is a difficult place for leaders who are used to solving problems.
A few months ago, my wife and I had an adventurous itinerary that took us from North Carolina to St. Louis to Fort Leonard Wood to Minneapolis to North Dakota and back. Multi-city trips are fun, but there is not a lot of room for delays.
One of our flights was seriously delayed, so much so that it was likely we’d miss our connection and end up spending a day in Minesota on our way to North Dakota.
Thankfully, we travel so much that we’ve learned how to roll with the punches.
Here’s what I’ve learned in those moments.
Delays do not create something new in us. Instead, they reveal what is already there.
If I am anxious, it shows up. If I am frustrated, it surfaces quickly. If I am resting in the peace of God, that becomes visible too. Airports, delays, and waiting rooms don’t change your character. They expose it, but also, they can form it if we are teachable.
Underneath a lot of that exposure and formation is the same issue.
Control.
Maybe you relate to that in your own way. Maybe it’s not a flight schedule. Maybe it’s your phone, constantly checking for updates because you don’t want to miss something. Maybe it’s finances, deadlines, expectations, or relationships that feel like they’re slipping out of your hands. Maybe life feels like it’s spinning just fast enough to keep you unsettled.
We know what it’s like to feel powerless.
But there’s an important distinction we don’t always make.
Feeling powerless and being so are not the same thing.
Scripture consistently treats waiting as formation.
Psalm 27:14 (ESV) says, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”
I say it all the time. Waiting is not passive. Waiting is active trust in a space where control is limited.
In leadership, we are conditioned to move. To act. To solve. To accelerate. But not everything that matters can be sped up.
Character is not built on demand.
Wisdom does not develop instantly.
Discernment does not come through pressure alone.
Some of the most important work God does in leaders happens in moments that feel unproductive. Those moments confront us with a simple question. What do you do when you are not in control? For me, that question has been uncomfortable.
Honestly, I don’t just like control. I depend on it more than I should. I want outcomes to align with my planning. I want clarity before I move. I want things to make sense.
Waiting disrupts all of that.
However, it also creates space to think without reacting, to pray without rushing, and to notice what constant movement keeps hidden.
Over time, I’ve started to see those moments differently.
I no longer see them as interruptions. I see them as invitations.
Invitations to listen more, to look around, to ask questions, and yes, to give thanks for the season.
Airports, delays, and waiting rooms are not just inconvenient.
If we allow it, they can be a type of mirror that shows us how much we rely on control, how we respond when we lose it, and what is actually forming us beneath the surface.
Life is hard, leadership is complex, and most of us are trying to get it right.
Buried in this reality, we often resist is a truth we need.
We are not in control of everything…and that is not always a problem to solve.
Sometimes, it is the very place where God begins to do His deepest work.
Dr. Carlo A. Serrano, President